Monday, December 30, 2013

How To Ace A Job Interview: 7 Research-Backed Tips


The tips in this article are aimed at helping you interview better but a number of them apply to relationships and communication too. Be sure to follow the links to other sources. In particular look at these steps:

Be Similar To The Interviewer. This touches on mirroring the other person.

Frame The Conversation. “Optimize first impressions from the outset by framing the conversation with a few well-rehearsed sentences regarding how you want to be perceived.”


Feel Powerful. “People who felt powerful before going in to an interview performed better. … How can you make sure you feel powerful? Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy recommends doing a “power pose” in private before the interview.” Cuddy’s research showed that people who used a “power pose” before an important meeting performed better than those who didn’t. I’ve tried it and believe it works.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Difference Between Saying "I Don't" versus "I Can't"

This article reveals the drastic affect of saying "I don't" do something such as eating a tempting snack or skipping an exercise session versus saying "I can't" allow myself to eat that snack or skip my workout. The author explains why.


Monitor your immediate emotional reactions and you'll probably see what's going on. The "can't" framing implies an external restraint, which feels disempowering (even if you imposed the restraint on yourself). You might even be tempted to disobey solely to assert your independence. To say that you "don't" do something, by contrast, suggests autonomy, as well as long-term commitment.
 Be sure to check the links in the article for the research behind this conclusion.

UPDATE:

James Clear talks about the research that explores the difference in how our minds react to saying "I can't do X" versus saying "I don't do X." 



In a research study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, 120 students were split into two different groups.
The difference between these two groups was saying “I can't” compared to “I don't.” 

One group was told that each time they were faced with a temptation, they would tell themselves “I can't do X.” For example, when tempted with ice cream, they would say, “I can't eat ice cream.” 
When the second group was faced with a temptation, they were told to say “I don't do X.” For example, when tempted with ice cream, they would say, “I don't eat ice cream.”
Heidi Grant Halvorson, director of the Motivation Science Center at
Columbia University, explains why this happens.


“I don’t” is experienced as a choice, so it feels empowering. It’s an af rmation of your determination and willpower. “I can’t” isn’t a choice. It’s a restriction, it’s being imposed upon you. So thinking “I can’t” undermines your sense of power and personal agency.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Power Posing

This article by James Clear summarizes the research of Amy Cuddy, a Harvard University researcher, who studies body language. It includes a link to Cuddy's original article on what she calls Power Poses and her TED talk. Check it out!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Seeing Challenges, Not Threats

Tomorrow you’re going to give a presentation to your most important client. Or you’re going to face the toughest player in a tennis tournament. Or your manager just handed you a critical project. How do we react when faced with these challenging situations? Most of us would feel a tightening in our stomach or the blood in our veins run cold. Yet, there are others who are unfazed by these situations. Why? What makes them different? This article, The benefits of seeing a “challenge” where others see a “threat”, sheds some light on this.

As the title suggests, “viewing a situation as a challenge will lead you to perform much better than viewing the same exact situation as a threat.” The article describes studies on why some people thrive on pressure while others dread it. It comes down to how a person perceives the challenge relative to their abilities.

People who are preparing for an event that they construe as a threat find the entire process far more demanding and stressful, while those who are preparing for a challenge end up performing much better.

The article shows that we can be taught how to prepare for this.

People can be trained to actively and intentionally engage in reconstrual; in fact, this process is one of the hallmarks of cognitive behavioral therapy. This model and its effects may rest on the assumption that people are prone to consistently construe situations in one way or the other based on their resource assessments, but that doesn’t mean that this tendency is immutable. If you actively re-frame stressful situations as challenges and your elevated heart rate as excitement (or “efficient effort mobilization”), you can improve your health, well-being, and performance level, all at the same time. [Emphasis added.]

In other words I think we can tell ourselves that we’re looking forward to the challenge rather than dreading it. We can tell ourselves that we welcome the opportunity to show what we can do. Yes, it’s a form of “faking it until we make it.” And, yes, there are limitations to when this works. For instance I can’t fool myself into thinking we can, say play star quarterback in the NFL. Nonetheless, I do believe in our normal daily environment we can improve our performance by self-talking ourselves into looking at it as an opportunity to excel, not a threat to fail.

I’ve tried it before important presentations or meetings and before key tennis matches. I do believe this has helped me perform better by keeping me loose and relaxed. Anyway, the article starts off with a quote about how gymnast Aly Raisman handles pressure.

You ask [Aly Raisman] about feeling the pressure and she says, ‘I don’t really feel it,’ and you know, I think it’s because she labels it something different in her head. Some kids feel anxiety, feel pressure, she feels excitement. It’s just how you label that.

I’d say it’s more than just labeling a situation. It’s how you visualize the outcome. When I know I’m heading into a potentially stressful meeting or encounter I’ll take a few seconds to stop, close my eyes and visualize a positive outcome. I think it helps because doing this keeps me relaxed as opposed to tensing up. I also think it shifts the focus from internal (“I hope I don’t screw up and look bad!”) to external (keeping my focus on the outcome and on the person I’m dealing with).

One last point. I think framing situations as challenges instead of threats helps us reach “flow.” Flow is a concept identified by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. See this Wikipedia entry on flow. We reach a flow state when we’re completed absorbed by a task, when the challenge of the task stretches our abilities but without overwhelming us. If it doesn’t challenge us to stretch the activity bores us. If it’s too daunting it intimidates us. I think Aly Raisman and other people who calmly face challenges believe they’re up to the task or they’ve labeled the task as a challenge, not a threat.